FROM GIFTS *july 6th by bpNichol struck/sure read,dear the search for absolutes in a world of flux where are we lead when we follow their lead *july 2nd *july 4th at Sylvan Lake sun going down old hotel behind me not a memory but the recollection my parents dancing here 1933 their honeymoon Uncle Earl playing in the orchestra what song? what tune? what music drifts across the water all water years the self-conscious act of memory re-membering a life, love, the i is born out of passion songs play are replayed the dance goes on goes on fam-ily fami-ly fam-ily fami-ly fam-i-ly -i-ly -i-i- hi story hi world hibee leaf what i read is read, dear only the pronunciation changes not even moving your lips hello honey is the stinger in the vision of paradise sin tax of a life pucker sucker its the kiss of life of death elipsis a is for apple bis for ball in which a little knowledge grows it all comes down and what's proposed? a garden? mind? it all comes down to this it ain't the thot changes, the spell's the same its the attack rearranges the tone rows, the strings *july 5th (song) moonin' around coz i ain't with my honey blue coz i isn't with you *july 6th tone not tune nut cat's got my tongue makes me talk funny worm row burrow or rub *july 3rd under the gray stairs beside the white grocery store the body of the cat stiff now death having taken it where? looking round up & down oliver road tears streaming down my cheeks 1954 heaven? *july 4th when heaven ain't happenin' hell has to do mmmmm hmmmmm *july 5th (rewriting an old poem from memory) mirror rim 1934 my sister donna died at my mother's breast three months old !AHA! *july 7th 1955 i found her shoes in a box no bigger than my palm resemblances/rhythms rhymes it takes a life time to hear heard *july 4th this blue that *july 8th get this mouth piece to work adjust right? *july 5th clear a net to catch the world in things remembered or recalled string sections at sylvan lake certain things begin or it is another arbitrary point from which a line gets drawn story has its start its impulse to unravel the way that old song refuses to leave the mind rhythm the moon rises alone pi (an o's solution) a baby cries conversations with gone friends how it seemed you would all go on foreverie what it is, you say words where the worlds dwell outside the window a cat prowls by & an orchestra plays "honey on the moon tonight" notes struck over & over again chords that stack up play on something in you /frag/mented/memory of / beginnings stories of the world before you came to be use hey is what determines meaning sometimes you think you see it all in the mirror rim but then the light's dim or your eyes fool you hi (notes) vocabulary word choice or obsession i.e. no choice at all driven &/or dictated / i signs i signifies i sings we are all somebody's dead baby 'lo (notes) bi the light's blue & its hard to read furcation eventually this: present & therefore to be accounted for. blue: all around you (sky sea the robin's egg you found age 3). that: other past present future. "it's my bag," pipes pal in drone "you read the music so you can play" the signs "how still my heart flash on & off assumptions masking as givens how high" "would you like to go dancing" the way belief sits outside the rational the way the sense ration the world let only so much in so much let in letting irrational the moon from memory "take a chance & go romancing" "i think i'd rather stay home & read, dear." red deer, 1988 for birk sproxton & dermis johnson